I met Steve at Oxted County school where our close group shared many amusing adventures and misdemeanours, we continued these team larks after we left school until we lost touch in the mid 80’s.  We picked up where we left off with  the chatter again in April last year, due to the detective skills of Facebook, we spoke several times every week with laughter galore, reminiscing on all those memories.  I saw Steve last summer when he visited me at home by the seaside in his new motorhome on a laughter filled hot sunny day.  Here are a few printable memories from so many, during our school days back in the 70’s.

Orienteering. 1977


Thursday afternoons at Oxted County School were set aside for activities. For some reason the staff thought that letting 6th formers out of school grounds was a good idea, we certainly did!  From the list of activities Steve and a small group of us chose ‘orienteering’.  It was explained that this involved setting off on a heathy trek to somewhere to then find our way back to school by way of ordnance survey maps, compasses….. navigating by the stars and taking it all very seriously.


In the first week we were  driven out to Hurst Green in the school minibus by a teacher and dropped off.  When on our own we felt the best possible location to ‘orienteer’ to first was the local pub, so we did.  Unfortunately the teacher was also in there, so that didn’t go to well.  On the second week and beyond there was no minibus ride, so with great logic and much planning we felt that the obvious route was half a mile up the road to our mate Adrian's house. There we could watch afternoon TV (House Party) and generally arse around for a couple of hours, before returning to school looking suitably ruddy faced and ‘exercised' with our maps and compasses.


All went smugly well with this cunning scheme for some weeks, until one afternoon over the sound of the telly the phone rang.  Adrian answered it and hey presto it was our form teacher Mr Pickford asking if Adrian was there, ‘Yes, Adrian speaking’….  Oh dear!  We were all summoned to return to school to see the Headmaster Mr Coles and explain why we weren’t up on the downs muddy and enthusiastic, navigating our way back to school with sextants, grid references and the angle of the sun.


Steve, I and our team members stood outside Mr Cole's office and spent a useful couple of minutes discussing our strategy in explaining our way out of this  almighty hoo hah.  We struggled to reach a conclusion on the best way forward in our seemingly hushed tones, until the door opened and Mr Coles Appeared.  “I have found it fascinating listening to your discussion for the last couple of minutes!" he’s exclaimed and ushered us in to his study.  It appeared we had been seen heading off each week by a fellow pupil and ‘grassed up’  We were banned from orienteering, what larks……


Car crash 1981


When living in Copthorne where I was a sharing an old decrepit flat with Neil, Steve came over on his motorbike and as I had recently passed my driving test and inherited my Dad's old pale blue Vauxhall Viva estate, we decided to drive to a pub.  Steve was in the back seat, Neil in the front.  I had just been watching the Italian Grand Prix on TV and had my racing driver head on as we sped down to Blindley Heath.  As we approached a left turn  Steve had a cigarette ready to go and leaned forward to ask Neil for a light……. On branching off left (in my head a chicane) the grip in the tyres wasn’t quite up to F1 standards and I understeered (technical term) at speed  into a traffic island.    Once the sickening thud and tinkling glass subsided there was a brief second of silence, broken by Steve (still leaning forward with cigarette in hand) saying to Neil ‘come on mate give me a light’ almost as though nothing had happened.  Cool customer Charlton!  Nobody was hurt, just my Vauxhall Viva.


Oxted Fish and chip shop 1977


Granted the responsibility of being 6th formers, we were allowed into Oxted at lunch time.  Most days Steve, I  and a few colleagues would visit the fish and chip shop.  A lovely lady in there usually served us and every time on wrapping the healthy snack would ask “salt and vinegar on these love?”  However, she always delivered this line at such speed it became one word “sortavingaonthesluv”  That stayed with us from  1977 to 2020, it never stopped being used by us in conversation and never stopped triggering hysterical laughter in Steve and I……